Child of God
“Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God” (1 John 3:1, ASV).
My three sons are still young and I have no idea what their careers will be, nor do I know whom they will marry. I do not know if they will make good decisions or bad ones. I pray they will make positive contributions to their community, but they may not. They may be successful, or prone to failure. In any case, my love level for them will always remain constant. Nothing they do can alter that love. The entire world may despise them, but as a father my love will stay steady. Their achievements, or lack thereof, will not impact that love level.
The great truth is that God thinks the same of you. When Jesus was water baptized by John, He came up out of the water and a voice said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17). Jesus, at that point, had not completed a single earthly ministry task. God’s love pre-exists your performance and remains constant throughout your journey. If you cannot embrace this script, you will work for love rather than from the certainty that you are loved. You cannot know the security of God through intelligence alone, because you are not clever enough, but even a kid can know Him through the heart.
I recently spoke at a leadership retreat for Bible college students. We were discussing the need to be able to trust God in order to achieve successful ministry. As we neared the end and began to pray, a young student began to weep. After a few minutes, she explained that she found it impossible to trust God. She was scared of what He might require of her and whether or not that level of commitment might be too painful or sacrificial.
She was expressing feelings all of us shared. We are all concerned about what following God might mean for us. We fear that God might see harm done to us because we feel He doesn’t truly love us like He does others. There are a lot of people who say, “God loves you,” but are unable to say, “God loves me.” What a sad situation.
If you don’t know who you are in Christ, you’ll spend your entire life trying to prove who you are to others. You must believe that God’s love for you is not impacted by the quantity of sin in your life, nor by your performance as a leader. You cannot judge yourself, or God’s affection for you, based on the outcome of your efforts.
How We Are Supposed to Treat Each Other
How We Are Supposed to Treat Each Other…
1 Fellowship with one another 1 John 1:7
2 Love one another John 13:34-35
3 Members of one another Romans 12:5
4 Devoted to one another Romans 12:10
5 Out do one another in showing honour Romans 12:10
6 Rejoice with one another Romans 12:15
7 Weep with one another Romans 12:15
8 Same mind toward one another Romans 12:16
9 Not judge one another Romans 14:13
10 Accept one another Romans 15:7
11 Counsel one another Romans 15:14
12 Greet one another Romans 16:16
13 Wait for one another 1 Cor.11:33
14 Care for one another 1 Cor. 12:25
15 Serve one another Galatians 5:13
16 Bear one another’s burdens Galatians 6:2
17 Be kind to one another Ephesians 4:32
18 Forgive one another Ephesians 4:32
19 Submit to one another Ephesians 5:21
20 Bearing with one another Colossians 3:13
21 Encourage one another 1 Thess.5:11
22 Build up one another 1 Thess.5:11
23 Stir up one another Hebrews 10:21
24 Be hospitable to one another 1 Peter 4:9
25 Minister gifts to one another 1 Peter 1:10
26 Minister with humility to one another 1 Peter 4:10
27 Speak no evil against one another James 4:11
28 Not grumble against one another James 5:9
29 Confess your faults to one another James 5:16
30 Pray for one another James 5:16
The Disappointed Pastor – For Non-Pastors Only!
Pastoring looks easy to some, but it’s not. Pastoring is difficult.
It is hard to convince non-pastors that pastoring is a weighty responsibility. Any attempt to discuss the issue seems like self-promotion and self-pity. Uncaring individuals label pastors as complainers but simply calling a pastor a “whiner” reflects an ignorance of the facts and meanness of spirit. I have discovered that the opposite is true. Pastors are generally optimistic, dedicated, and willing to serve without complaint.
Pastors sit under judgment, daily. (I wish people would stop judging what they don’t understand.) Blame always seems to be put squarely, and only, on the pastor’s shoulders. Pastors are judged on the basis of how good they make their people feel. Their livelihood requires them to be entertaining, friendly, popular, and well-groomed. Even the conduct of their spouse and children impact their job. People can be unkind. Pastors can be bullied. God can seem absent. Growth can feel miles away. The mission feels far off the radar.
Why can’t some people realize that sometimes their pastor’s world is also filled with trouble and hardship–sometimes big hardship–just like other humans. They just can’t be as verbal about it because of the expectations that exist. I know of pastors who have suffered through near-death surgery, intense grief, mental breakdown, sickness, sin, and near marital collapse, and their congregation knew nothing about it. Now you may say, it was the pastor’s pride that kept him or her silent but likely that was not the case. The real reason is that he or she could not trust others with their pain. To say it bluntly, there are some people would silently celebrate the suffering of their pastor.
The Schaeffer Institute, in a survey of American pastors, discovered some interesting findings. You can access this information by visiting www.truespirituality.org. Here are a few that I found interesting:
Hours and Pay – 90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week, 50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job, and 70% of pastors feel grossly underpaid.
Health and Well-Being – 70% of pastors constantly fight depression and 50% of pastors feel so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.
Marriage and Family – 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families, 80% of spouses feel the pastor is overworked, 80% of spouses feel left out and under-appreciated by church members.
Church Relationships – 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend and 40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.
Longevity – 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years, and only 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.
There are extended seasons of dissatisfaction in the ministry lives of modern pastors. This doesn’t mean that there is despair and pessimism, but some days they feel disappointed or dissatisfied with the way things are. There are at least three areas of such disappointment that make pastoring particularly difficult. Disappointment occurs when something falls short of what was anticipated or hoped for. It is the painful gap between what one expects and what is experienced.
Pastors are disappointed with God.
I’ve never met a pastor who was satisfied with the amount of new believers, the health of their church, or the level of its community impact. Alexander Pope said, “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” Pastors are victims of their own optimism.
Every pastor has heard the silence of God and felt the deafening of their faith. Many pastors have prayed, for many years, for the hand of God to move. And, while God has done significant things, many of their prayers feel unanswered. They have interceded for the lost to be won, people to be baptized, and leaders to rise up. But most haven’t seen the results for which they have been begging.
I appreciate all of the theological arguments for “unanswered prayer” and I fully subscribe to the sovereign will of God, but I’m talking about the way pastors feel. This can be different than what pastors know or believe. It’s this feeling that makes pastors frustrated or depressed. Unmet expectations always breeds despair. Pastors, who believe they have honoured God with their lives, can feel dishonoured by Him when pain comes. They work hard to do their job but some days it feels like God and man are screaming, “More bricks! Use less straw!”
Pastors are disappointed with their congregation.
Pastors, in every church, want their people to go to the next level. Even in the healthiest churches, the pastor has a positive dissatisfaction with the state of their congregation. Sometimes this makes congregations feel that their pastor is too judgmental and makes the pastor feel like people don’t want to change or are uncommitted. Yet, both feelings are untrue. Because ministry is a pastor’s life, they sometimes feel that church ministry should be a greater focus in members’ lives. This causes conflict.
Recently I sat on a discussion panel at our Master’s College and Seminary. The first question, which was directed to me, was from a student who asked, “What has been your greatest disappointment in ministry?” I didn’t speak of salary, failure, comforts, insults, or missed opportunity. I spoke of people. People whom I had seen fall away from God. Then, each panel member after me, told stories of the same disappointment—individuals who traded faith for sin. At the end of the day nothing crushes a pastor more than to see a person fail and fall.
Pastors are disappointed with themselves.
Beyond the expectations placed on pastors and their spouse to be perfect, there are professional expectations that are broader than they were even a decade or two ago. Even the most basic list of duties include preaching, counseling, administrating, fund-raising, chairing meetings, correcting, teaching, socializing, visiting, reporting, analyzing financial statements, praying, vision casting, carpentry, and cleaning the church. And, they are expected to be good at ALL of them. Everyone has an unwritten job description for his or her pastor. I read recently that the present-day pastor tries to shoulder the fifty-eight New Testament “one another” exhortations alone.
Perhaps part of the problem is that pastors are fulfilling a position that has evolved into something that is outside of what is defined in scripture. The contemporary role of pastor is invented. Pastors operate in a broken institutional system and faulty ecclesiology. Contrary to Scripture, the pastor has become a religious specialist. He or she is the sole doer. Fewer “laity” (an unbiblical term, by the way) are able, or at least more unwilling, to use their gifts within the assembly. So the members are left to evaluate how well the doer is doing.
There is little hope of avoiding hurt and conflict in our current model. This is the curse of the institutional church – the loss of the priestly participation of the members. For example, the New Testament letters show that the presentation of the Word came from the individuals present at their gathered meetings. Even the “sermon” as we know it has no precedent in Scripture or in early church history. It’s not that it is wrong; it’s just an addition to what is shown in the New Testament.
So, what does this information mean for pastors and non-pastors? It means that congregations need to cut their pastor some slack, and pastors need to get up, go to work, and be the best model they can be—nothing more, nothing less.
Here are three ways individuals can help:
1. Examine your personal expectations for what you anticipate from your pastor. Make sure it’s biblical, realistic, and seasoned with grace. Don’t bring them someone who wants to come to Christ. Instead, you lead them to Christ. Don’t tell them to visit a sick person unless you have visited them yourself. Don’t point out the un-mowed grass. Mow it! Only after you have invested your own time, money, and energy, to the extent that you are able, will you have the right to voice your concerns.
2. Shoot the Pointer Dog. These dogs point to where the hunter should shoot. These creatures sniff out the prey and point to the problem. The hunter is then expected to take action. Every church has someone who feels it is their job be the eyes and ears for the pastor. They usually are people who victimize the pastor by being people who see being right as more important than being nice. They have a clear opinion of what the pastor should be doing. In particular they are judgmental toward others. As Philip Yancey writes, “Christians get very angry toward other Christians who sin differently than they do.”
3. Be guilty of over-affirming. The truth is, there are more affirmers than critics in most churches. It’s just that the critics are more vocal. Don’t be afraid to affirm your pastor, and I don’t mean the sneaky kind of affirmation that one tends to give when the pastor does something we feel is important. Give encouragement liberally. Your pastor can essentially be affirmed into becoming the pastor/person God and you want them to be.
4. Trust their motives. Each of these disappointments is devastating for an individual who loves people and wants to minister to them. You will serve them and the Kingdom by being brave enough to be loyal and patient. If it is difficult to trust your pastor’s actions, trust their heart. They do want to serve you and the Kingdom, but like each of us sometimes the want becomes can’t when life takes its toll on us. Someone once said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
I’ve been reading copies of Mother Teresa’s letters lately. Most consider her a hero of faith and a model of compassion. What many do not realize is that she struggled for years with discouragement and disappointment. Maybe today your pastor feels the same way as her. She wrote, “That darkness that surrounds me on all side. I can’t lift my soul to God—no light or inspiration enters my soul. I speak of love for souls—of tender love for God—words pass through my lips and I long with a deep longing to believe in them. What do I labour for? If there be no God, there can be no soul. If there is no soul then Jesus, You also are not true. Heaven, what emptiness—not a single thought of Heaven enters my mind for there is no hope. I am afraid to write all those terrible things that pass in my soul. They must hurt You. In my heart there is no faith, no love, no trust; there is so much pain—the pain of longing, the pain of not being wanted.—I want God with all the powers of my soul—and yet there between us—there is terrible separation.—I don’t pray any longer. I utter words of community prayers and try my utmost to get out of every word the sweetness it has to give. But my prayer of union is not there any longer. I no longer pray. My soul is not one with You and yet when alone in the streets I talk to You for hours of my longing for You. How intimate are those words and yet so empty, for they leave me far from You. The work holds no joy, no attraction, no zeal.”
Even in pain, Mother Teresa kept ministering. Perhaps you could be that person who helps your pastor to do the same.
Another Book Review – A Reader’s Story…
Hey Jim,
Hope you’re doing well. I finished your book tonight. It was a great read but tough at times. I think I need to read it again. There were several chapters in there where I stopped and thought – “sounds like someone familiar – oh wait, it’s me”. I think there may have been a brush up against some issues I didn’t even know were there. There were several other places where you discussed issues that I’ve seen in my life and I’ve been working on with God for a while now and your insights helped clarify the journey. Some other things in there I don’t think are me (I think . . .)
There are several points where I was challenged as I read. I’m one of the guys who works on the edge of burnout and stresses the strength of my closest relationships in order to love people I don’t know (thank God for an amazing wife – I’m getting better according to her report . . .). I’m bad at abiding and ambition drives me too far at times.
I’ve struggled with insecurity and I’ve bailed when I didn’t want to go through what I felt was going to be unrewarding and difficult. Sometimes I’ve worked tirelessly and I don’t know why or for whom.
All that being said, reading through your book has also helped me realize I’m probably at one of the healthiest places I’ve been for a long time. I’ve learned some balance the hard way. God has led us to a time (on a round a bout journey I might add) that I feel is right and how we should be serving right now. I feel, for one of the first times in my life, that I’m serving not so much to please people but to do what I should do as I’ve known it for quite some time.
I’ve got a lot of insecurity about all of this though and I’d appreciate your prayers in this regard. Ever since we’ve stepped into the journey we’ve been on I’ve been constantly nagged by the “What do people think of me” question even though I don’t know why. Nobody has ever been discouraging to my face but I lose sleep over it. Sometimes I wonder if this is legit questioning. Other times I recognize it for what it is – walking a road that pleases God but doesn’t get the post Sunday am pats on the back. Any way you frame it – it’s insecurity and I struggle with it.
I’m also in a bit of a haze right now when it comes to what’s next. This might be a good thing for me – “abide” as the book mentions – but it’s an uncomfortable place for me. I’ve been working in this ultra highly motivated performance situation. I’m asking God “so what do I do now?” “How do I do what you’ve wanted me to do with this all along?” I’m not getting a response – possibly on purpose. I’d appreciate your prayers that God would just lead this as he wants.
Anyway, overall your book was great and very timely in my life. I need to read it again. I can think of several people I should pass this book on but I’m just thinking about how to give them a book on insecurity tactfully. “You need to read this” doesn’t seem to cut it.
Thanks Jim – apologies for the verbosity but it’s your fault – the book stirred it all up.
Insecurity
This is an introductory chapter to Every Leader’s Everest.
We didn’t know our son was significantly deaf until he was about three years old. Unknown to us at the time, Jake had Enlarged Vestibular Aqueduct Syndrome. EVAS is a form of hearing loss caused by the enlargement of the vestibular aqueduct in the inner ear. It is one of the most common inner ear deformities resulting in hearing loss.
As a toddler, Jake learned to follow instructions by catching various cues, like hearing the word “teeth” and understanding that it was time to brush his teeth. He even developed the ability to lip-read at a basic level—a skill that he used as a child and still uses as a teen whenever eavesdropping is required.
I remember taking our little preschooler to get his hearing tested. Despite his vehement denial of any hearing loss, the test confirmed that he had a binaural deficiency. Moulds were taken of his ear canals and hearing aids were ordered.
A few weeks later, we returned to the audiologist to try them. It was a sunny Wednesday morning in downtown Halifax. The streets were congested and the air held the dull roar of rush hour. I parked the car and headed across the street into the clinic, little boy in tow. Up the elevator. Through the corridors. Past the fish tank. Across the playroom. Into the audiologist’s office.
She fitted the devices into his ears and asked me to go down the corridor and around the corner. From that distance I spoke, “Jake, can you hear me?”
Jake responded with excitement, “Dad! These walkie-talkies are great!” He was still convinced his hearing was fine, believing that the devices were only providing transmission, not amplification.
Leaving the office, we crossed the street towards our car. Jake suddenly jolted and grabbed my leg! A large truck was downshifting further up the street, but his new hearing aids made him think that the truck was upon him.
Parked further ahead was a shiny black Mustang convertible. Jake’s dream car.
“Look, Jake! A black convertible!”
Jake burst into silly laughter. “Ha! You’re funny, Daddy!”
It is common for my children to laugh at me, but I was still confused. “Why are you laughing at me? Why is Daddy funny?”
He giggled. “Daddy, it’s not a ‘convertible.’ It’s a ‘vertible’!” And as we debated the car type on the sidewalk of a busy street, I realized that he had never heard the “con” part of “convertible” before, and had never known it was missing.
Every leader is tempted at some point to switch into autopilot and stop engaging in new tasks or trying new things. The “con” has been absent so long that they doubt there actually is anything else. I have also met leaders who are convinced the situations and challenges they face have little to do with them. They are deaf to their own issues and insecurity (or at least they pretend to be). As a leader I have discovered that sometimes the problem has been me. Looking deeper, I have found that unheard (or unacknowledged) sounds in my life have more impact than I would like to admit.
Do you have that nagging sensation that something is not quite right or an awareness that something is a little off? There couldn’t possibly be something else, could there? I’m guessing that God has something more for you, your life, and your leadership. What role is insecurity playing in your life and leadership? What sound frequency must you tune into to hear the impact insecurity is having on you? For some, it has always been ‘“vertible.’ Perhaps there are some tones of your understanding that remain unheard too?
We do not appreciate how damaging these absense of these frequencies are until the other clatter gets too loud to ignore. Most of us are unaware of the extent of all of this because we are prone to lack objectivity. Robert McGee writes:
Human beings develop elaborate defense mechanisms to block pain and gain significance. We suppress emotions; we are compulsive protectionists; we drive ourselves to succeed, or we withdraw and become passive; we attack people who hurt us; we punish ourselves when we fail; we try to say clever things to be accepted; we help people so that we will be appreciated; and we say and do countless other things.[i]
Consequently, as we sometimes do with a beeping smoke detector, we pull out the battery and spend our next days in danger.
We all wear camouflage, thinking, “If people don’t see the real me, they can’t hurt the real me.” Assessing this insecurity leads us down a long and difficult process—one that might require uncomfortable and difficult transformation. Let’s walk through these next chapters together with an eye to the role insecurity might be playing in our ability to be effective leaders and develop successful relationships. This might hurt a bit, but the payoff will be worth it.
Though we might not recognize its influence, insecurity threatens our most primal needs, including our need to be valued. Lawrence Crabb wrote, “The basic personal need of each person is to regard himself as a worthwhile human being.”[ii]
Everyone has insecurity, but no one is born insecure. It is a learned trait. One may be born soft-hearted or sensitive, but insecurity is developed as a person grows, emerging and evolving in different ways throughout the various stages of life. We must determine how significantly insecurity affects us and whether or not it is becoming dysfunctional or debilitating in its intensity.
The term “insecurity” is bigger than implying that someone lacks confidence or self-assurance. It steps beyond uncertainty and anxiety. Originating in the seventeenth century, the word insecurity comes from Medieval Latin, from “in” (meaning “not”) plus “securus” (meaning “free from care”). Therefore the word is best interpreted as “not free from care” or, as some suggest “unsafe.” Insecure people can be dangerous leaders to follow.
In The Tender Heart, Dr. Joseph Nowinski writes:
The word insecurity has a particular meaning, and a particular cause. Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt—a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world. Insecurity is associated with chronic self-consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships. The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate.[iii]
The intensity of our insecurity directly affects how we view the world and how we respond to life’s blessings and problems. It influences our reaction to conflict, criticism, and loss. It even shapes our interpretation of praise and admiration when we are affirmed. If we get too excited by praise, we become devastated by criticism. Nowinski further suggests:
The insecure person also harbors unrealistic expectations about love and relationships. These expectations, for themselves and for others, are often unconscious. The insecure person creates a situation in which being disappointed and hurt in relationships is almost inevitable. Ironically, although insecure people are easily and frequently hurt, they are usually unaware of how they are unwitting accomplices in creating their own misery.[iv]
A simple metaphor might help. Think of insecurity as an automobile. The fuel that powers it is unrealistic expectation. Unrealistic expectation is the catalyst for all insecurity because the more you try to become what you think you ought to be, the further you get from being who you are meant to be.
The ignition is past experiences. Life’s successes and failures, one’s background or upbringing, are what start the insecurity process or contribute to how insecurity will be manifested.
The accelerator pedal, then, is disposition. The natural personality and demeanour of a person mixes with their experiences and their current state to accelerate uncertainty. Different dispositions and personalities cause the variance in the display of insecurity.
Sitting in the passenger seat is jealousy, an evil co-pilot, ready to navigate insecurity to dangerous places. The back seat passengers are rejection and loss. These guys are along to assist in spurring insecurity and making sure that even an outgoing or seemingly confident person remains insecure.
Pop the hood and you’ll see lack of belief in one’s acceptance by the Creator. As Lloyd Ogilvie suggests, “All insecurity is rooted in an inadequate sense of belonging to God.”[v] Our problem is not a low view of ourselves, it’s that we have too low a view of God.
Good looks, wealth, prestige, or power cannot bring the refuge we seek. At the end of all our journeying, we have only to discover that the Lord is our security. When we feel insecure, what we are really feeling is fear. Insecurity is fear. Unhealthy fear is always the result of a lie. Dr. Chris Thurman writes,
Every lie that goes through your mind is slow, self-inflicted psychological and spiritual death. Every lie you think costs you your life. The lies we believe are the mental bullets that kill our souls, and they inflict significant damage often without our even realizing it until it is too late.[vi]
Like you, I have been afraid too. In many ways, I still am. I am writing this book not only because I have studied the psychology of insecurity, but because I have lived in its grip.
**
The whole world suffers the loss of artists’ contributions when insecurity wins. Humankind never sees their masterpieces. Ears never hear their unwritten symphonies. Insecurity is the reason there are singers who do not sing and writers who do not write.
Insecurity visits everyone. I fight it every day. So do you.
Insecurity lies. It always lies. It only lies.
Insecurity makes us into fools.
Insecurity is a bully.
Insecurity is powerless. It needs the fuel we feed it.
Insecurity doesn’t care or empathize.
Insecurity seeks not to injure but to annihilate.
Insecurity tells us to “sit down, shut up, and do nothing.”
Insecurity runs scared when we threaten to become the people we are meant to be and we do that for which we are called.
Insecurity is scared to be alone.
Insecurity cannot be touched, smelled, or held. It can only be felt. It is always damaging, depressing, and disapproving. It is evil.
Insecurity lives on the inside. It cannot be banished by medication. It is the foe within. Only Jesus can drive it out.
Insecurity seeks to drop us down a level, never to lift us to a higher rung. It always leads to regression, never progress. It always weakens and never empowers.
Insecurity is a bad habit.
Insecurity teaches us to put off, postpone, and procrastinate.
Insecurity’s best friend is Criticism. Its lover is Judgmentalism.
Insecurity likes drama. It is the father of trouble and the mother of distraction. It tempts and teaches us to be victims. (After all, who can expect much from us if we are miserable? Misfortune is such a wonderful excuse.)
Insecurity tells us that we must be free of fear in order to achieve anything. Security knows that being “free of fear” is an illusion. There is no such thing as a “fearless leader” and the ones who try to appear fearless are idiots.
Insecurity is not defeated by a great relationship, financial success, popularity, recaptured youth, beauty, power, or prestige.
Insecurity cannot be destroyed, but it can surely be dominated.
Imagine what would happen if insecurity fled. Alcohol companies would dry up. Drug trafficking would halt. Self-help books would become history, as would plastic surgery, Botox, and marijuana. Imagine what wonderful productions would walk across life’s stage! What great risks would be taken! What fantastic strides forward!
[i] McGee, Robert S. The Search for Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God’s Eyes (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2003), p. 3.
[ii] Crabb, Jr., Lawrence J. Basic Principles of Biblical Counseling (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1977), p. 53.
[iii] Nowinski, Joseph. Conquering Your Insecurity (New York, NY: Fireside, 2001) p. 23.
[iv] Ibid., p. 24.
[v] Ogilvie, Lloyd J. The Bush Is Still Burning (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1985), p. 152.
[vi] Thurman, Chris. The Lies We Believe (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2003), p. vii.
Ambition
There is a joke that every pastor has heard: “It must be great to be a pastor. You only have to work one day a week!” If you are a pastor, you know that’s not true. If you’re a pastor or other sort of leader, you know what it’s like to try to juggle all the parts of life—including work, family, friends, faith, and community service.
A few years ago, Time featured this cover: “Ambition: Why Some People Are Most Likely To Succeed.” The subtitle read, “A fire in the belly doesn’t light itself. Does the spark of ambition lie in genes, family, culture—or even in your own hands? Science has answers.” Authors cited successful leaders like Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, and Tiger Woods. Trump, they said, used to love to read the foreclosure listings in the newspaper. Bill Clinton, at age sixteen, defeated a thousand other boys in a mock campaign for a senate seat. Oprah was an early reader (age two) and fought to start in the first grade, then went on to skip into the third. At age six, Tiger Woods, the world’s greatest golfer, was listening to motivational tapes.
So is it all genetics and personality type? The magazine never went on to answer those questions, but the questions were intriguing anyway. What determines a “go-getter” from a “do-nothing?” Why are there some couch-stuck inventors while others become successful entrepreneurs? Where does the inner drive come from?
The answer is “motivation.”
Ambition always has a motivator. The leader must know what force gives him or her the strong desire to achieve something.
Ambition = energy + determination + goals
The apostle Paul was clear about his ambition. “I have fully proclaimed the gospel of Christ. It has always been my ambition to preach the gospel where Christ was not known, so that I would not be building on someone else’s foundation.” (Romans 15:19–20). His statement shares some common themes with other New Testament leaders. It is purposeful and full of godly effort. Creativity is cherished. Uncertainty is embraced. Security is abandoned. They possessed a trailblazing spirit which desired to take new ground, pioneer, or cut a new path. Today, before us is a leadership challenge: Matthew 9:37 says, “The workers are few…”
The Problem of Lack of Ambition
Hebrews 6:12 records, “We don’tdo not want you to be lazy, but to imitate those [who’vewho [have gone before].”
There are lethargic leaders. For everyone working sixty hours per week, someone is punching out early every day. The next generation, in particular, has significant issues with ambition and achievement. I often get calls from senior leaders wanting to know how to light a fire under their staff. A study done in Canada between 1984 and 1992 found that the percentage of young people who indicated the importance of hard work dropped from 69 percent to 49 percent.[i]
There are many reasons leaders take a “drifting” approach. Perhaps the mission isn’t as compelling, or maybe professionalization has changed the game. Certainly we have been given license to underachieve. Many followers only expect good maintenance, not leadership.
Lack of ambition usually has a “good” excuse. “The sluggard says, ‘There is a lion outside!’ or, ‘I will be murdered in the streets!’” (Proverbs 22:13). If the endeavour is bold, they say it is too irresponsible. If it doesn’t come easy or requires work, then it is not God’s will. They play the “I’m not going to burn myself out” card or proclaim, “I don’t want my family to suffer.” The truth is, it is good to be tired once and a while.
There are no lazy leaders, just unmotivated and passionless ones. We are never lazy when it comes to the things we want to do. It is not because of a lack of energy, but a lack of motivation. To overcome laziness, we need to find our motivation. If our reason to act is great enough, we will have the will to act.
The Problem of Wrong Ambition
Here are a few verses to consider
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3)
“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” (James 3:16)
The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.” (Philippians 1:17)
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (Colossians 3:23–24)
Creating Healthy Ambition
1 Thessalonians 4:11 says, “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you.” I do not mean to be trite or too much a reductionist, but lack of ambition is not a passion problem; it is a spiritual problem.
Major General John H. Stanford survived several tours in Vietnam. He was highly decorated and known for the loyalty he earned from his troops. Stanford then became military traffic management command for the United States Army during the Persian Gulf War. Upon retirement, he took on several noble ventures, with much success. When someone asked him his secret, he responded:
When anyone asks me that question, I tell them I have the secret to success in life. The secret to success is to stay in love. Staying in love gives you the fire to ignite other people, to see inside other people, to have a greater desire to get things done than other people. A person who is not in love doesn’t really feel the kind of excitement that helps them to get ahead and to lead others and to achieve. I don’t know any other fire, any other thing that is more exhilarating and is more positive a feeling than love is.[ii]
Stay in love with leading! Ambition is an affair not of the head, but of the heart. Keep the fire burning in your belly. Do not become weary in doing well!
Love your call to leadership!
Book Review – Every Leader’s Everest
Hi Jim,
I read your book last night, well, actually over the last couple of nights. Very good. I can’t think of any other book that deals with this topic in leadership either as a whole or even as a significant part of its content. So you have addressed something not readily found elsewhere, at least in my limited scope of reading. That is interesting, considering how large a place insecurity has in our lives.
I think that as pastors, we are particularly prone to this, due to many factors as you outlined. Serving people in any public capacity is to be targeted regularly for assault and battery. Add to that any personal background issues and we’re a bull’s eye for life. Looking back I often ponder the power of a significant person in my life who said, “ You’ll amount to nothing.” My first article that I ever submitted to a magazine was rejected with the added words of the editor, never send me another thing as you can’t write and this is nothing but trash. Later, when I wrote articles for the Maritime District Communique (since as Superintendent I felt pressured to say something each month) they were picked up by other publications. But then and to this day, I can’t initiate an article for publication unless it is requested. Overcoming insecurity is not easy.And there’s more… as in all our lives. Everytime someone leaves my church it creates a huge personal crisis. . . taking me weeks to get over it. Inside, I’m absolutely devastated and fear its the beginning of a massive walk out by others to go to something better or hear someone younger and sharper and good, while I plod on with my dreary dialogues.
Anyway… now that I’ve got that out, I feel better, almost.
Your book: this is what I was meaning to write you about… until I got onto my insecurities ! Really good. You show that you’ve done your research. You’ve read widely and make quotes that fit the context and are not just fillers. You nicely mix the theological and psychological to deliver a practical addressing of the issue. It is specifically aimed at leaders and thus is a focused book, yet there is much that would help anyone with insecurities.
I like your humor. It comes without effort, naturally and usually out of the blue with a shot that hits and runs. I loved the totally unexpected line… p 115, where you are addressing the most serious matter of bondage to sin and correctly state you will feel like rubbish … and then throw in about being as insecure as the third monkey sneaking onto the ark. I laughed out loud before I knew what I was doing. Your personal stories add reality and humanity to a serious topic.
The book is balanced, easy to read but not light in its treatment, pointed without being blaming. You identify issues and sins and problems, but then not only give help and counsel, but do so with gentleness and care from a perspective that we’re all fallen but fixable.
Well done. . . looking forward to your next book. How about one that addresses the biggest battle of young preachers: Working and Surviving with Insecure Leaders. That should keep me chewing my fingernails.
David
